Sunday, July 17, 2011

Attack of the Receipt Nazi

Based on evidence gathered today at Wal-Mart, I have determined that the name tags for the “people greeters” should say “People Greeter & Receipt Nazi.”

You are probably thinking that I am a bit deranged since the people greeters are usually sweet little old people. However, today the people greeter was a relentless middle aged lady. Now don’t get me wrong, I know they have a job to do, but what this particular people greeter did just baffled me.

I approached the exit with my tiny one in the buggy that was filled to the brim with groceries (in bags mind you) plus the few bags I was carrying. She (the receipt nazi) asked me for my receipt. All I could think was…Really? You really wanna see my receipt? Can you not see that my hands are full AND the buggy is full (of bagged groceries)? Plus she had just watched me go through the checkout line that was RIGHT NEXT TO the exit where she was standing!!! So I told her, “Well it’s in one of these bags.” She replied, “Okay.” And she looked at me as if to say, “Well you better get to digging in the bags if you are planning on leaving any time today.” So I dug through almost every bag until I finally find the receipt in the next to last bag. Now that the receipt nazi had wasted three minutes of my life detaining me in Wal-mart I felt sure that she would compensate for my aggravation by giving the receipt a thorough examination. Better yet…maybe she would count the number of items on the receipt and count the number of items in my buggy and do a comparison. But nooooooooooo…silly me!!! She took the receipt and smeared it over with her stupid yellow highlighter with no more than a millisecond of a glance at it.

OMG!!! I was so mad! I wanted to scream at her, “REALLY?? Did you really just make me dig out my receipt so that you could color on it after not even looking at it? Do you think that your yellow scribble on my receipt has magical powers that will somehow cause items I didn’t pay for to levitate out of the buggy? What the hell? At least you could have made me THINK you were looking at the receipt! You could have at least pretended to count the items in my buggy or make me somehow feel that my efforts to dig out the receipt were worth it!” Whew I was so mad, and I am actually still pretty worked up about the whole incident (in case you can't tell). But not to worry, I already have a plan! (insert evil laugh here) The next time I go to Wal-Mart and the receipt nazi wants to color on my receipt I am going to pull out my own yellow highlighter and scribble on the receipt and say, “Don’t worry, I got this!”

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Indecision Strikes Again

I have always wanted to be a mommy, but it wasn’t until I became one that I really understood (and still am learning) what being a mom is really all about. And I have recently come to the conclusion that being a mom is all about decisions…

I never imagined there were so many decisions to be made with regard to parenting, and just when I think the hardest ones are behind me *BAM* another one pops up on the radar! Prior to the birth of my tiny one I felt sure that the advice of doctors, the government, and people who are doing things “the way things have always been done” would be good enough. And for some – it is. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on perspective) I am not one of those. Before making any big decisions I tend to overanalyze study and research until my eyes are bloodshot.

Here are a few of the most daunting decisions that I have had to make as a mother:
  • cord blood: bank it or not
  • sleeping: co-sleep or not
  • breastfeeding: keep trying or not
  • table food: organic or not
  • discipline: spank or not
  • vaccines: do it or not
  • nursing: take necessary medications or not

And now, thanks to my experience today I can add convertible car set selection to my list of daunting decisions. Hubby and I have agreed that we want to keep our tiny one rear-facing at least until two, but I want to keep her rear-facing longer (hubby is still not sold on it). So, in the quest for the perfect convertible car seat I ended up at a local boutique baby store that has the nicest folks who will let you bring your car and “try on” car seats! They even help you install them – did I mention that they were awesome?

Prior to sashaying my happy little self into the store I spent what seemed like a decade doing research and studying different car seats. My choices were narrowed down to the Britax Boulevard 70 and the Radian 80SL. Both of these are very pricey seats, and my choice begs one to ask if I chose them simply because they are among the most expensive ones. Doubters, fear not, I chose those seats because they not only meet the government safety requirements they far exceed them. And since I am going to be putting something very important (AKA: my most valuable gift. ever.) in this seat for many years to come I didn’t feel that the price tag was unreasonable.

Blah, blah, blah…fast forward to the trying on of the seats. We did it. I liked the way the Britax fit the best. I bought it and came home. Fast forward a few hours and Shazam! buyer’s remorse hit me like a ton of bricks. I had all these thoughts racing through my head: Did I buy the right seat? What if the other one was better? What if this one is too bulky? What if it’s too hot? What if we suddenly get pregnant with twins, and I can’t fit all the kids in the back seat because I got this super bulky car seat? What if it isn’t installed properly? What if the moon’s gravitational pull causes the straps to be too loose? (Okay I made that one up just now, but you get the idea! I was in a panic!!!)

Fast forward again and I’m back at the cutesy boutique with the amazingly patient and kind lady who must have seen psycho moms like me before. We repeat the “trying on” of the car seats from the previous visit, but this time tiny one is in tow, so we actually put her in the seats as the car gets to “try them on” for the 2nd time. Ultimately I decide that there are features about both seats that I like and features about both seats that I don’t like. Suddenly I realized that I was holding my tiny one, sitting in the back seat with this sweet lady and the car seats, and I was paralyzed with indecision. I just could not decide what to do. So five minutes later I pulled out of the parking lot with a screaming tiny one who was quite annoyed with the whole idea of trying out car seats and a store credit for the car seat I returned. Alas, I am not defeated! We shall “try on” car seats again and allow hubby to join in on the fun!!!

In the meantime, you can just refer to me as the crazy mama who is more indecisive than a six year old on the Barbie aisle.