Sunday, July 17, 2011

Attack of the Receipt Nazi

Based on evidence gathered today at Wal-Mart, I have determined that the name tags for the “people greeters” should say “People Greeter & Receipt Nazi.”

You are probably thinking that I am a bit deranged since the people greeters are usually sweet little old people. However, today the people greeter was a relentless middle aged lady. Now don’t get me wrong, I know they have a job to do, but what this particular people greeter did just baffled me.

I approached the exit with my tiny one in the buggy that was filled to the brim with groceries (in bags mind you) plus the few bags I was carrying. She (the receipt nazi) asked me for my receipt. All I could think was…Really? You really wanna see my receipt? Can you not see that my hands are full AND the buggy is full (of bagged groceries)? Plus she had just watched me go through the checkout line that was RIGHT NEXT TO the exit where she was standing!!! So I told her, “Well it’s in one of these bags.” She replied, “Okay.” And she looked at me as if to say, “Well you better get to digging in the bags if you are planning on leaving any time today.” So I dug through almost every bag until I finally find the receipt in the next to last bag. Now that the receipt nazi had wasted three minutes of my life detaining me in Wal-mart I felt sure that she would compensate for my aggravation by giving the receipt a thorough examination. Better yet…maybe she would count the number of items on the receipt and count the number of items in my buggy and do a comparison. But nooooooooooo…silly me!!! She took the receipt and smeared it over with her stupid yellow highlighter with no more than a millisecond of a glance at it.

OMG!!! I was so mad! I wanted to scream at her, “REALLY?? Did you really just make me dig out my receipt so that you could color on it after not even looking at it? Do you think that your yellow scribble on my receipt has magical powers that will somehow cause items I didn’t pay for to levitate out of the buggy? What the hell? At least you could have made me THINK you were looking at the receipt! You could have at least pretended to count the items in my buggy or make me somehow feel that my efforts to dig out the receipt were worth it!” Whew I was so mad, and I am actually still pretty worked up about the whole incident (in case you can't tell). But not to worry, I already have a plan! (insert evil laugh here) The next time I go to Wal-Mart and the receipt nazi wants to color on my receipt I am going to pull out my own yellow highlighter and scribble on the receipt and say, “Don’t worry, I got this!”

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